Confessions
by Xtacy and Coke
Summary: A parody talk show featuring Usagi and Mamoru.
1. Confessions Part One

Title: Confessions  
  
Authors: Xtacy and Coke  
  
Disclaimer: We don't own sailor moon. We don't even own cheap posters or mangas or CDs or anything WORTH owning, so please don't sue.  
  
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AN:  
  
Coke: This is our first fic as co-writers. Now, we all know how sucky Xtacy writes alone, so she asked me for help and thus we've become *dun dun dun* XTACY AND COKE!!! Hope you enjoy.  
  
Xtacy: *sweatdrops* Aw, man, just take my name off this crappy story already. Damn.  
  
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CONFESSIONS by XTACY and COKE  
  
Announcer: *Sounding suspiciously like Motoki* Welcome one and all to Xtacy and Coke's *cough*lame*cough* talk show, 'Anime Parodies'. Live. Right here in… Miami! And now welcome, Coke *walks out onto stage and waves* and Xtacy *walks out onto stage and waves also*.  
  
*Audience applauds*  
  
Xtacy: *grins* Hi, welcome to the very first episode of 'Anime Parodies'.  
  
Coke: Yeah, welcome.  
  
Xtacy: *cough*loser*cough* I JUST said that.  
  
Coke: Oh… right, right. Uhm.. Welcome to the VERY FIRST episode. *smiles and nods*  
  
Xtacy: I JUST SAID THAT, YOU IDIOT. *whispers* say something else.  
  
Coke: Uhm.. I like chocolate ice cream.. Uh huh, uh huh.  
  
Xtacy: Riiiiiiight. *Slaps Coke upside the head*  
  
Coke: Stop the violence! Stop it now! SECURITY!  
  
Security: *comes in, hand cuffs Xtacy and drags her away*  
  
Coke: … @_@"  
  
Audience: …  
  
*5 seconds pass by*  
  
Xtacy: You're not taking me away today, dammit! THIS IS MY DAMN SHOW. I CAN DO AS I PLEASE. AND TAKE THESE STUPID HAND CUFFS OFF.  
  
Security guys: *Smile and walk away but don't take off hand cuffs*  
  
Coke: What the hell do you mean YOUR show? I thought this was an equal partnership. Look, you bitch, you better not be getting paid more than me. I wanna see your damn contract.  
  
Xtacy: Yeah, right. Uhm, hey everybody, let's get on with the show! *tries to take hand cuffs off. Fails.* Today's episode will focus on Usagi and Mamoru from Sailor Moon and their, uhm, interesting relationship.  
  
Coke: Mamoru.. *drools* @_@  
  
Xtacy: *sweatdrops*  
  
Mamoru and Usagi walk out onto the stage, hand in hand, and sit down on the plush red love seat. Xtacy also sits down across from them on the plush red sofa. Coke stares at Mamoru but is pulled down by Xtacy into her seat.  
  
Xtacy: Soooo, let's get started, shall we? Okay, cool. So you guys know how a talk show works. I ask questions, you answer them. Okay, Mamoru. Can you take off my hand cuffs? PLEASE! My hands are hurting like hell.  
  
Coke: No! Don't do it! She's a bitch! I mean, witch! *coughs*  
  
Mamoru: *indecisive*   
  
*A few dull moments pass by*  
  
Mamoru: Usako, what should I do?  
  
Usagi: I know, let's make out!  
  
Mamoru: Okay, you're SO smart, Usako.  
  
Usa & Mamo: *Making out*  
  
Xtacy, Coke, Audience: *Stare in a state of dumbfounded silence*  
  
*Five minutes go by*  
  
Coke: *low voice *Psst, Xtacy, when do you think we should stop them?  
  
Xtacy: Umm, maybe later, Mamoru's taking off his shirt.  
  
Coke: *Nod, nod* We don't wanna bother them, yanno.  
  
Rei walks onto the stage. Audience rips its eyes away from Mamoru and Usagi for a moment to stare at Rei and applaud loudly.  
  
Rei: Fire burning mandala! Bitch, no one steals my man. He was mine first, you know!!!! (AN: Sorry, forgot the name for that move) *burns down the love seat and most of the remainder of Mamoru's clothing, except his boxers*  
  
Female audience groans. Someone yells "Burn the boxers!" The rest of the audience begins chanting "Burn the boxers! Burn the boxers! Burn them now! Burn them now!"  
  
Surprisingly enough, Usagi's outfit is still intact. But, hey, no one's complaining.  
  
Mamoru: *Eyes wide open* Ahh, I'm naked! *Runs off stage*  
  
Usagi: *Runs after Mamoru*  
  
Rei: *Runs after Mamoru*  
  
Coke: *Runs after Mamoru, but sadly, is grabbed by Xtacy and forced to sit calmly in her seat* *Grumbles* I better get paid overtime for this.  
  
Xtacy: Well, umm, that's all for now, since we have no guests or anything, we'll be back after this commercial break. Alright, see ya then! *waves*  
  
Coke: Yeah, byeeeeeee! *waves*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Backstage:  
  
Xtacy: *chugs down half a cup of coffee* Damn, we sucked.  
  
Coke: They don't pay us enough for doing this job. I wanna see my damn lawyer.  
  
Xtacy: You have a lawyer? For real?  
  
Coke: *sweatdrops* Oh hey, what happened to your handcuffs?  
  
Xtacy: Heh heh. Mamoru just took them off.  
  
Coke: Hell fuck no. He actually helped you? Where's Usagi? What does she have to say about this?  
  
Xtacy: *Coughs* Well, umm.. *thinking about how she locked Usagi in the bathroom* Uhh.. Well, uhh, she was cool about it. *grins* yeah, very cool.  
  
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AN:   
  
Xtacy: This is just the first installment, check back later, we'll probably have done something to this crappy excuse for a 'fanfic'.  
  
Coke: Yeah, but um, review, ok? I mean, just because we're obsessed with anime..  
  
Xtacy: Especially anime guys *winks*  
  
Coke: ..we decided to devote our time to important things like fanfic writing and drooling over pix of hot guys. Heh heh. Yeah, so enjoy and check back later. 


	2. Confessions Part Two

Title: Confessions  
  
Authors: Coke and Xtacy  
  
Disclaimer: We don't own sailor moon. We don't even own cheap posters or mangas or CDs or anything WORTH owning, so please don't sue.  
  
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AN:  
  
Xtacy and Coke: We're baaaaaaaaaaaack.. !!!  
  
Xtacy: *mutters* and unhappy about the reviews..  
  
Coke: *sweat drops* Yeah, if you're not gonna review, don't fucking read it, alright?  
  
Xtacy: Haha, gotcha! We're just.. *British tone* joshin' ya..  
  
Coke: Yeah, don't take it to the heart..  
  
Xtacy: Hopefully, this'll be funnier than the last..  
  
Coke: And maybe we'll receive more reviews *cough, cough, hint, hint*  
  
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CONFESSIONS by XTACY and COKE  
  
Announcer: And, now, let's welcome back Xtacy aaaaaaaand Coke!  
  
*applause*  
  
Xtacy: *walks onto stage* Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's get this over with.  
  
Coke: *real cheerfulness* Hiiiii, we're back! Hey, wait a minute, why is your name first? Why is it Xtacy and coke? Why not Coke and Xtacy?  
  
Xtacy: Coz Xtacy and Coke sounds much better.. *grins*  
  
Coke: *thinks about it* …hey, you're right! It DOES sound better!  
  
Xtacy: *does a double take* …right, ANYWAYS, on with the show! Before the commercial break, Mamoru and Usagi were about to tell us about their wonderful, ever-lasting, great, ultra-awesome, cool, first class, excellent, fine, ultra-steamy, grand, infamous, celebrated..  
  
Coke: *annoyed*  
  
Xtacy: *listing off on fingers* …brilliant, exceptional, superb, joyful, radiant, exuberant, lively, energetic *wink, wink*, breath-taking, splendid, tremendous, remarkable, luminous, dazzling, shining, outstanding, incomparable, sparkling..  
  
Coke: *looks down at her watch*  
  
Xtacy: *still listing* …extraordinary, amazing, special, marvelous, mind-blowing, staggering..  
  
*15 minutes later*  
  
Xtacy: and.. And.. Uhm.. *whispers* Coke, Coke! I've run out of words! Help me!  
  
Coke: immensely significant..  
  
Xtacy: Relationship!  
  
*Low applause since most of audience is practically drooling in their sleep or about to fall asleep due to Xtacy's prolonged introduction*  
  
Usagi and Mamoru enter hand in hand.  
  
Mamoru: I see you got those handcuffs off, Xtacy. *wink, wink*  
  
Usagi: *looks at Mamoru, then Xtacy, then back at Mamoru* Wait. What?  
  
Mamoru: She got her handcuffs off. See? *Holds up Xtacy's hand*  
  
Usagi: Oh.. *deep in thought* Right.  
  
Coke: Oh, hey, what happened to Raye?  
  
Mamoru: Oh, she had to go home. Something about feeding her crows. *rolls eyes*  
  
Xtacy: *staring at Mamoru* Oh.. *looks away* Right! So let us sit down and chat.  
  
*Mamoru and Usagi sit on love seat and Xtacy and Coke sit on couch*  
  
*Usagi's device-thingie that they use to stay connected rings*   
  
(AN: Sorry, dunno the name of the calling thingie!)  
  
Usagi: Oh, no! There's a youma in Tokyo! I have to go! *teleports out*  
  
Announcer: To be continued! …With Usagi gone, what will happen when Mamoru is left with two maniacal fan girls!  
  
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AN:   
  
Xtacy: We were desperate..  
  
Coke: Yeah, but don't worry, we'll update soon!  
  
Both: *grin and wave*  
  
Coke: Oh, oh! Can I make out with Mamoru next time?  
  
Xtacy: Shh, you'll give away the storyline! 


	3. Confessions Part Three

Title: Confessions  
  
Authors: Xtacy and Coke  
  
Disclaimer: We don't own sailor moon. We don't even own cheap posters or mangas or CDs or anything WORTH owning, so please don't sue.  
  
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AN:  
  
Xtacy: And again, we're back with another chapter of… Confessions! Yeah, alright..  
  
Coke: God we really have no lives, do we?  
  
Xtacy: No, we don't. We really don't.  
  
Coke: Anyways, in this chapter I get to………………uh……………………..*thinking very HARD*  
  
Xtacy: *stares at Coke* … *sweatdrops* You get to make out with Mamoru.. Not that you deserve it or anything. I mean, he APPARENTLY likes me more.. Psh..  
  
Coke: oh yeah………YES I get to make out with Mamoru! *drooling at the thought* and hell no…………okay…………..he likes me…………get it right…….Psh……  
  
Xtacy: No, he doesn't! He likes me! ME ME ME ME ME! *sticks out tongue*  
  
Coke: whatever…anyway on with the show……..  
  
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CONFESSIONS by XTACY and COKE  
  
Announcer: *sleeping*  
  
Xtacy: *glares at announcer* *goes backstage and hits him upside the head*  
  
Announcer: *wakes up abruptly* Oh, oh! Xtacy and Coke, everybody! Yeah, alright, woo hoo! *applauding very loudly*  
  
Xtacy: *goes back onstage*  
  
Coke: *walks onstage*  
  
Xtacy: Yeah, welcome back peeps! As you can see, Usagi has left us..  
  
Audience: Aww..  
  
Xtacy: ..but Mamoru is still with us..  
  
Audience: Yay!!!!  
  
Mamoru: *Struggling in loveseat, hands tied behind his back, and masking tape across his mouth*  
  
Coke: We had to make sure he didn't leave or anything……not that he would…………or actually could….*takes out whip from behind her back*  
  
Xtacy: *shocked* Is that really necessary? I mean, he's harmless!  
  
Coke: *sighs* FINE….*very disappointed, hands it over to a security guard*  
  
Xtacy: HELLO! I'll take that…  
  
Security Guard: *hands over whip to Xtacy*  
  
Xtacy: *takes whip and stashes it away in a sub-space pocket* I'll prolly need this later.. *winks at audience*  
  
Coke: DAAAAMMMNNN You………anyway…….you're not going to get my pink fluffy handcuffs *takes them out*  
  
Mamoru: O_O"  
  
Female Audience: Oooooohh…  
  
Male audience: *strangely excited*  
  
Xtacy: *struts over to Mamoru and takes off tape* Hey there, lover boy… *tries to kiss Mamoru on the lips but misses as Mamoru moves away. Xtacy eats the floor*  
  
Xtacy: Hello no! You fucking bastard! HOW DARE YOU DENY ME! *takes out leather whip*  
  
Coke: *holding back Xtacy*  
  
Coke: *tries to comfort Xtacy*  
  
Mamoru: um….Coke…..could you please untie me? *smiles sweetly*  
  
Female Audience: *sigh and faint*  
  
Coke: *drops Xtacy on the floor and runs over to Mamoru*   
  
Xtacy: Ow.  
  
Coke: Of course, Mamo-chan!   
  
Xtacy: *Suddenly appears next to Coke and holds her back* YOU SLUT! YOU WHORE! HOW DARE YOU?! WHAT, IS TODAY LIKE 'TREAT XTACY LIKE SHIT' DAY OR SOMETHING!? HELL NO! DON'T UNTIE HIM!  
  
Coke: *stares at Mamoru, then at Xtacy, then at Mamoru, then at Xtacy again* hmm………what to do, what to do……….to release Mamoru or not to release Mamoru, THAT is the question…  
  
Female Audience: What, are you STUPID? Let him go, let him go!!!  
  
Coke: *releases him and sits on his lap*  
  
Xtacy: *fuming*  
  
Mamoru: *Sexy voice* Aww, don't be angry. You know I love you, too, Xtacy. Come, you can sit next to me.  
  
Xtacy: *Smiles and flashes 'V' sign to audience* *Skips over and sits next to Mamoru*  
  
Mamoru: *Wraps arm around Xtacy and other arm around Coke*  
  
Coke: SOOOOO….do you really love Usagi? *touches his arm lightly and flutters her eyelashes*  
  
Xtacy: *Groans* Hey… how come YOU get to sit on his lap? I wanna sit on his lap!  
  
Mamoru and audience: *sweatdrop*  
  
Coke: Isn't it obvious?…he LIKES ME…NOT YOU……..MEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEME *to prove point kisses Mamoru on the lips*  
  
Mamoru: *too stunned to do anything, but enjoying it*  
  
Coke: Ha…I didn't MISS  
  
Audience: Oooooooh! Fight, fight!  
  
Xtacy: Oh, yeah? Watch this. *pushes Coke off Mamoru's lap* Ha..  
  
Xtacy: *sits on Mamoru's lap and makes out with him*  
  
Coke: What the Hell!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Xtacy: *grinning like a shark*  
  
Coke: *stands up from floor and sits next to Mamoru in a furious manner*  
  
Mamoru: Damn, you guys are good kissers…  
  
Xtacy and Coke: We know! *fall over in ecstacy*  
  
(AN: Xtacy: Hahahahaha, my name!)  
  
Xtacy: *…looks at Coke, then Mamoru, then Coke, then Mamoru again* *sighs* Aw, man. Damn, I'm sorry Coke, I shouldn't have done that, pushing you like that was mean. I mean, it's just Mamoru, no biggie! We're bigger than that?  
  
Coke: Yeah, I know and I shouldn't have run to Mamoru in your time of need, he's not that hot.  
  
Mamoru: Excuse me? I AM hot! Have you seen my abs? Here, touch my arm. Feel the muscles…  
  
Xtacy and Coke: *shrug* Okay! *go over to Mamoru and reach out slowly, unable to believe that he's serious*  
  
Mamoru: *stomach growls* Damn, I'm HUNGRY. Usako can't cook for shit. So, um, you guys got some food around here?  
  
Xtacy and Coke and audience: *sweatdrop*  
  
Coke: *to Xtacy* Hey, let's interview him over pizza and coke or something..  
  
(AN: Coke: HEY! MY NAME! MY NAME!)  
  
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AN:  
  
Coke: So that's it for this chapter. You can expect: bondage, real confessions, thrown pizza, and spilled coke (Hey I said it again!) in the next chapter.  
  
Xtacy: Yeah. Holla back. For those of you who don't know, you CAN review on this site.  
  
Coke: *Bored tone* It's no Biggie, really. Well that's it, see you next time, hope you enjoyed, um…bye…I guess…..  
  
Xtacy: Yeah, bye! 


	4. Confessions Part Four

Title: Confessions 

Authors: Xtacy and Coke 

Disclaimer: We don't own sailor moon. We don't even own cheap posters or mangas or CDs or anything WORTH owning, so please don't sue.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
AN:  


Xtacy: So.  


Coke: …yeah….we're back….again  


Xtacy: *yawns* I'm tired as fuck. But, of course, something interesting is about to 

happen. *evil laugh*  


Coke: *scared as HELL* riiiiiiiggghhhttt…….  


Xtacy: What? Are you undermining my powers? My abilities?! HUH? IS THAT IT?! IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE DOING?! HUH?!!!!!!  


Coke: *surprised, still scared as hell, but bored* What are you talking about? I'm too tired for this, it's what? 2 in the morning? Start the story already!!!!!  


Xtacy: ……………..Err, right. The story. LET'S GO! *excited, for once*  
  
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CONFESSIONS by XTACY and COKE  
  
Announcer: *Wide awake this time, with a thermos full of coffee* Let's welcome back 

Xtacy and Coke!  


Xtacy and Coke: *walk onto stage*  


Coke: *has a huge grin on her face* Wuzzup  


Xtacy: Yeah, yeah, yeah! Forget the damn introductions and let's just get to the good part already! *rubbing hands together excitedly*  


Coke: *takes out cell phone* Uhuh….yeah……..I want 1 large cheese pizza with one bottle of Grape Soda….  


Xtacy: *Looking for Mamoru* Where the hell did he go?  


Mamoru: *Walks onto stage with a nice tux and two corsages*  


Female Audience: Awww..  


Mamoru: Well, ladies, are we ready for dinner or what?  


Xtacy and Coke: *look down at themselves* Damn, we look like shit. We need pretty clothes!  


Xtacy and Coke: *Run backstage, change into sexy dresses and walk back onstage*  


Mamoru and Male Audience: *jaws drop and eyes pop*  


Xtacy and Coke: *Wear smug looks on their faces*  


Female Audience: *Muttering obscenities*  


Xtacy: Yeah, we know we're hot!  


Coke: …My number is………3..0..5..8...7..--  


Xtacy: *stops Coke* Hello! No one wants your number! Psh!  


Male Audience: *shouts in protest*  


Coke: *cocky look on face* What were you saying? Didn't quite hear you.  


Xtacy: Like I said, you're a damn slut!  


Coke: Well, you're a damn whore, anyway, back to business…  


Xtacy: Psh, you're lucky we're on a live broadcast.. Anyways, let's get the table ready.. Yo, Light Man, dim the lights!  


Lighting Director: *Dims the lights*  


Backstage Crew: *Come onto stage and take away everything. They place a beautiful table and three chairs behind the table, facing the audience. They place two white candles on each end of the table and light them*  


Mamoru: *hands Xtacy and Coke a corsage each*  


Xtacy and coke: *Put on corsages*  


Mamoru: *Pulls out chairs for both and they sit* *Sits in-between the two*  


Xtacy and Coke: *Sigh happily*  


Mamoru: Ladies..   


Coke: Yes.. Umm..  


Xtacy: Uhh..

Coke: *turns to Mamoru* So…do you really love Usagi? You never answered.

Mamoru: *Deep in thought* Well...

Xtacy: *Getting impatient*

Mamoru: Uhh…

*Five minutes later*

Mamoru: *Still deep in thought*

Coke: *about to say something when…*

Member of Backstage Crew: *walks on stage with 1 large cheese pizza and a bottle of Grape Soda and places it in front of Xtacy, Mamoru, and Coke*

Xtacy: Sooooo.. Mamoru, not to be rude or anything, but like, um, yeah, so like… I don't wanna interrupt your deep thinking or whatever, but like, do you REALLY love Usagi? *dangerous smirk, ready to burst due to impatience*

Mamoru: So you want to know if I really love Usagi?

Xtacy and Coke: YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mamoru: REALLY?

Xtacy, Coke, and Audience: YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Coke: *at this point extremely hungry so opens pizza box* 

Mamoru: *jumps up in fright and lets loose a VERY girly scream*

Xtacy and Coke: O_O"

Xtacy and Coke: What? What? What's wrong?

Mamoru: I'm… I'm… I'M ALLERGIC TO CHEESE! THERE! I SAID IT!

Coke: *Gets thirsty, so begins to pour the grape soda in to her glass*

Xtacy: *Jumps up furiously, ready to kill Mamoru, and in the process, shoves Coke by mistake and drops Grape Soda all over her dress*

Coke: You WHORE, What the FUCK was that for???!!!!

Xtacy: O_O" ………….. ^_^" Heh, heh.. Oops?

Mamoru: *on the floor, laughing his ass off*

Coke: *takes a slice of pizza and aims to hit Xtacy in the face, but SADLY misses and hits her dress instead*

Xtacy: Oh my gosh! MY DRESS! MY BEAUTIFUL DRESS!! *runs back stage to change*

Coke: *Also runs backstage to change*

Mamoru: *Still on the floor, laughing his ass off*

BACKSTAGE:

Xtacy: *laughing good-naturally* You have such bad aim, and you were saying that I miss!!!

Coke: *also laughing good-naturally* You should have seen the look on your face 

when that pizza hit your "beautiful" dress!! It was PRICELESS.

Xtacy: Whatever, not like we OWN these dresses and you know, there are so many other beautiful dresses in the dressing room.

Coke: True….true…..

Xtacy and Coke: *walk to the dressing room and look around*

Coke: *goes over to the only visible rack of clothing and pulls out something* Look, it's fishnets!!!!

Xtacy: No, you ass, that's bondage clothing! I forgot, after our show, I think it's the stupid strip anime show.

Coke: *eyes seem to be on fire* You ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What the hell are we going to wear now?!?!?!?!?!

Xtacy: What the hell were you thinking throwing that pizza on my dress?! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!

Coke: Hey, you started it, because of you I now have a purple dress, which might I add was white to begin with, you dork!!!  


Xtacy: *Deep in thought* Damn, well… I dunno, it was a mistake. But think about it, no one will really notice what we're wearing, I mean, the guest is important right? Even if it IS Mamoru… -_-"

Coke: *very insecure* I guess….we have no choice….fine…

Xtacy and Coke: *change into bondage clothes and walk back onstage*

Xtacy and Coke: ~_~"

Mamoru: *STILL laughing his ass off*

Xtacy and Coke: ~_~"

Male audience: *staring*

Xtacy and Coke: ~_~"

Mamoru: *turns to Xtacy and Coke and abruptly stops*

Xtacy and Coke: ~_~"

Male audience and Mamoru: *have mouths hanging open and drooling, A LOT*

Xtacy and Coke: ^_^v

Xtacy and Coke: *Sit back down in their seats as if nothing is wrong*

Male audience and Mamoru: *still drooling*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AN:

Coke: Another chapter done……..hope you all enjoyed it…….

Xtacy: Yeah, we'll probably wrap this up soon enough.. Maybe like one more chapter..

Coke: yeah, winter break is almost over…….*bangs head over on table many times*………..damn………

Xtacy: Aww, don't be depressed.. *pats Coke on the back* I mean, think about it. You'll get to see the cool guy soon and I'll get to see Eddy.. *drools*

Coke: First of all, I haven't seen the COOL GUY in ages, don't even know him, and second of all, not even he is a good enough reason to go back to school…..

Xtacy: Yeah, but Eddy is.. @_@

Coke: SHUT UP!!!!!!!……….anyway……..that's it……………so……..bye…………see you all next time………..maybe………..who knows?………………..

Xtacy: Yeah, bye! *still thinking about Eddy*


End file.
